Vital statistics:
Height: Tall. Like, 6'3" or something.
Hair: Kinda mousey-brown.
Eyes: Also mousey; his eyes are, in fact, mice.
Likes: comics, video games, sweaters, crazy girls, comedy,
TV shows that he had a hand in making.
Dislikes: TV that he didn't make himself, poverty, his own
body odors, Captain Distracto.
When I first met Jeremy Westphal, it was our sophomore year of
high school. He had started to become friends with a few of my
junior-high chums, but we never really interacted with each other
until we both happened to join the Students for Environmental
Action (SEA) club. At the time, Mr. Westphal had a haircut that
was popular in the early- to mid-nineties: parted in the middle,
hanging down to about forehead-level, a slight and subtle
holdover from the late-eighties skater haricuts. I decided, based
on this haircut, that he was probably Cool; in fact, he was
probably Too Cool For Me.
One week, SEA was holding a spaghetti dinner to raise funds, to
which all were invited. We stayed after school, making posters
advertising the event, and during this poster-making session, I
decided the best way to advertise would be to pursue a more
direct "town crier" route. I opened a window and began
shouting at passerby that they should attend the dinner. I later
found out from one of my friends that Jeremy Westphal had thought
that was funny, and that I was a little bit unbalanced. And so,
we were both under the mistaken impression that the other was a
Cool Kid.
As it turns out, we were both wrong. In reality, and as we
discovered much later, both of us were dorky, video-game-playing,
comic-book-reading, cartoon-watching, socially inept nerds. And
so we became friends. We remain friends to this day. We have
agreed that if one of us suddenly dies, the other one will have
the responsibility of writing the life story of the deceased for
all to read. In the event that I must complete this task, I plan
on wildly exaggerating most of the embarrassing moments in Mr.
Westphal's life, and I'm sure he would do the same to me. It is
this knowledge that keeps us both alive.
Jeremy Westphal and I are currently co-writing a novel-length
comic, entitled "Jeremy and Greg Made a Road-Trip." It
will be pretty rad.